No Turning Back
“Go to Hell, Howard.”
Howard was taken off guard and was unsure whether he’d heard Alex correctly.
“Excuse me?” Howard replied.
“You heard me…Go to Hell!”
“What is it now, Alex? Are you having a tantrum of some sort?”
“No, I’m just letting you know right off the bat that I’m not helping you. In fact, if I’m going to help anyone, it will be those who are out there busting their ass trying to expose all of the immoral things you’ve done and are trying to do.”
Howard had spent nearly 80 years learning how to respond ‘rationally’ and ‘unemotionally’ to whatever he encountered. He’d cremated care long ago. But Alex’s words stung him and warning signs that Alex would not participate were becoming impossible to ignore. His only son, and everything he imagined they could accomplish together, appeared to be slipping away and desperation began to set in. Howard needed this relationship. He needed someone to teach, someone who looked up to him, someone he could trust unconditionally. For a split second, he wondered if the desire to love and be loved was making its way to the surface after a lifetime of repression. (He shoved the thought back under before it could take a single breath.)
“Calm down, Alex. Why are you talking about morality again? We’ve been through all of this. Stop saying these foolish things! Stop being so weak! How can you expect to…”
“I’m sorry, Howard, but you’re the one who is foolish and weak” Alex replied. “You’re living in your own damn illusion. I hate to break the news to you, but you’re not a lion. You’re more like an out-of-control cancer. And that’s the big flaw in everything that you and your psychotic ‘dominant class’ has planned. Even if you do manage to create your so-called ‘New World Order’ and gain total control, you’ll just kill the host that you feed on. Then what?”
“Alex, please stop and listen…”
“Have you ever thought of it that way, Howard? Lions don’t rule the world. They don’t even rule a single herd of animals. Their numbers are kept in check by natural forces and, unlike you, they take only a tiny percentage. They take only what they need and they actually serve a legitimate purpose in nature. You and your kind take more and more and more. You’re never satisfied and your desire to dominate everything in the world is far more irrational than the emotions of the so-called ‘inferior class.’ There is something missing inside of you…you are not a fully-formed human being.”
“Alex, I know that reality is very tough to accept. I too had some difficulty when I was…”
“Reality? You want reality? This is reality: A world filled with your kind would devour itself and that’s why it will never work. You’ve wasted your life trying to create something that, even if it’s finally born, will only commit suicide. That’s not an ‘emotional’ argument, it’s a fact! And here is some more reality for you: You were either born broken or something broke you. I’m not sure which and I honestly don’t care. All I know is that you’re not going to break me. I will never join you. I don’t give a shit about your money or the other ‘opportunities’ that you can offer. When I go to my grave, I’m gonna go knowing that I nurtured, rather than murdered, what it means to be a human being. That might not mean much to you, but then again, neither will all of that money and power when you’re rotting in the ground.”
Alex had finally turned the tables. Now it was Howard who struggled to find a coherent thought. He fell back on the script that had already failed him and, this time, it backfired miserably.
“You don’t understand how foolish they are, Alex. Somebody is going to control them; there is nothing you can do to stop that. All you can do is make sure that you are not a victim of their gullibility. You are either part of the dominant class or you are part of the dominated. There are no other choices.”
“Sorry, but I don’t buy that either” Alex replied. “They don’t lack intelligence; they simply don’t know the trick. And they don’t know the trick because you’ve kept it from them. What happens when they learn the trick, Howard?”
“That’s the point, Alex, they cannot learn. They don’t want to learn. They want to go on believing that the world is exactly what we’ve told them it is. It comforts them. They are too self absorbed and cowardly to face the real world. They are too ignorant to comprehend why they should! Don’t you understand what I am saying? They are irrational, they cannot reason.”
“If they can’t reason it’s only because you intentionally impaired their ability to do so! But never mind that, how about this, Howard? If they’re so damn cowardly and stupid, if they’re such mindless idiots, come out and tell them! Go on national television and explain who you are, what you do and how you do it. You won’t because you can’t. Every scrap of power that you have depends on deception.”
Before Howard could take a breath, Alex continued:
“You told them they were smart, witty and well informed; you told them they controlled their own lives. You programmed them to doubt themselves and only trust the ‘authorities.’ …Well, if you really believe they’re so ignorant, tell them the truth! Don’t even bother explaining the intricacies of the system that you think they can’t understand. Just start with letting them know how you actually view them. See what happens.”
“And that would increase our advantage in what way?” Howard asked.
“It wouldn’t increase your advantage, that’s the point. It would prove that you don’t really have one. If an entire lifetime of your deception and brainwashing can be destroyed in a single instant, then I think you are drastically overestimating your so-called ‘advantage.’ You rely on the fact that ‘Deception provides what the truth denies.’ Fine, but what happens when you reverse that? What happens when it becomes: ‘The truth denies what deception provides.’ I don’t believe you can hide the truth forever. I don’t believe that most people are too stupid to see the truth when it’s put before them. More importantly, I don’t think you truly believe that they are either or you wouldn’t work so hard to hide it.”
“Alex, you are making an enormous mistake. I will tell you exactly what is going to happen. You are going to rush out into the world waving the truth only to discover that the people you are trying to help do NOT want to hear it. Their lack of intelligence isn’t the only barrier that you’ll have to overcome. They are too busy, distracted, selfish and impatient to seriously look at any information that challenges what they already believe. But your biggest obstacle, the one that is nearly impossible to get past, is their psychological need to protect their world view. They have a deep emotional attachment to the lies that they believe, Alex. When you attempt to expose those lies, they will attack you.”
“Do you honestly expect me to believe that I will be attacked for pointing out what you are doing to them?”
“No, you will be attacked for attacking what they believe in.”
“What exactly does that mean?” Alex asked impatiently.
“If public education empowers children then, by opposing it, you obviously want to weaken children. If war is fought to secure justice and protect the innocent then, by opposing it, you obviously support injustice and the murder of the innocent. If the government only takes and spends money for the good of the nation and the less fortunate then, by opposing this practice, you obviously don’t care about the good of the nation or those who are less fortunate. Any attempt to undermine our institutions or our policies can easily be framed in this way. And because they equate their unwavering support as proof of their own morality, they will dismiss your arguments and evidence without a moment’s thought. It will be you, Alex, not the dominant class, who is seen as the enemy.”
Alex felt himself slipping a bit. He’d felt strong and confident up until this point, but Howard was gaining ground. He decided to quit while he was ahead.
“Howard, I’ve heard enough of your bullshit. It always sounds convincing at first, but if I think about it for a while I can poke holes in it. They might believe in your institutions and policies now, but they won’t if they’re shown what they’re actually being used for.”
“You are in way over your head, Alex. You have no understanding of basic human psychology. When you challenge their deeply held beliefs, especially beliefs they use to define themselves as ‘moral human beings,’ you will not be heard. They have nothing to gain by objectively looking at what you have to say.”
“They have the truth to gain!” Alex yelled.
“At what cost, Alex…everything they’ve ever believed in? Do you really expect them to put their lives on hold and begin reconstructing their entire world view based on the claims of some ‘idiot’ they never heard of? Do you honestly think that is going to happen? It isn’t. A few pejoratives and a simple ad-hominem attack will satisfy 75% of those who don’t want to hear what you have to say. If we construct an actual rebuttal (regardless of how weak it is) it will satisfy nearly all of those who remain. I promise you that, in the end, 95% will find a perfectly good reason to ignore you. You have no idea what you’re up against and you are being completely irrational. You cannot achieve what you’re aiming for, Alex…you will sacrifice yourself and benefit no one in the process.”
“It ain’t gonna work, Howard. I don’t care if I’m being irrational. I don’t care what I’m up against. I don’t even care if you’re right about only 5% being interested in the truth. 5% of the world’s population equals hundreds of millions of people and that’s a lot of God-damn people! I’m more than happy to stand and fight with them. I will never serve you or your pathetic class.”
Howard felt an emotional pain shoot through his body. It was the first time in many, many decades that anything approaching true heartache had shown itself. In the past, he would have driven it down the moment it tried to emerge. But not today…today, he let it well up inside him. He let it overwhelm him. And in an instant he realized, though painful, it was the most deeply meaningful moment of his 78 years. He felt a flash of pride for his son, followed by fear and then even more pain. He was human, if only for a moment. …Then, it was gone.”
“Goodbye, Alex…”
“Goodbye?” Alex asked with indignation. “Is that really all you’ve got to say for yourself?” There was no reply.
“You mean you’re finally done lecturing me about how irrational I’m being?” There was no reply.
“What about this laptop, the headphones and the books you sent? What am I supposed to do with these? Do you want them back?” No reply.
“Howard, you still there?”
A long pause was followed by nothing. Howard was gone. He’d vanished as quickly and unexpectedly as he arrived and he took Alex’s connection to the ‘dominant class’ with him. Alex suddenly realized that he had taken that connection for granted. He took off his headphones and considered the difficulty of his situation.
Just a moment ago, Howard was provably real and, by extension, so too was the threat that he and his dominant class posed. Alex had a living / breathing enemy that he could point his condemnation at and throw his arguments against…he had someone to defeat. Now, it was just Alex sitting alone in a cold damp basement. The enemy had disappeared and left no trail behind him. Worst of all, if asked to do so, Alex couldn’t prove that any of it had ever happened. He’d already checked his bank-account statement; there was no record (no proof) of the massive cash transactions. The laptop, books and headphones still in his possession could be purchased anywhere; they proved nothing. Not even the audio that Alex recorded could prove Howard’s existence or his unbelievable admissions…any 12-year old talking through a voice-morphing program could have made those recordings.
Alex’s sense of power and self-righteous indignation, the sound and fury that was so loud within him just a moment ago, fell eerily silent. It all seemed so clear and easy when he was chastising Howard. It was as simple as right and wrong, good and evil. The battle played out in his mind like a movie with the final scene clear as day: Millions upon millions of angry citizens standing up, destroying the illusion and holding the master manipulators accountable for their crimes…A new system, one that could not be controlled or manipulated by a small group of dominant men, created to replace the old…cooperation instead of coercion; truth instead of lies. If he listened closely enough, he might even have heard an inspirational soundtrack playing in the background.
But the movie in his mind had conveniently skipped over the current reality. Currently, the illusion was still firmly intact. Currently, the dominant class was still firmly in control. As for the millions that Alex saw himself standing shoulder to shoulder with, they hadn’t yet assembled. There was no deafening roar of a focused and determined crowd, no united voices drowning out the apologists for centralized power and control. …No, it was just Alex alone in the basement; the only sound playing in the background was the slow and steady drip (bloop……bloop…...bloop) coming from the slop sink’s faucet.
Alex intended to confront the most powerful, far reaching and well organized system of human manipulation ever created. That he was woefully ill-equipped, ill-prepared, under funded and outgunned had somehow escaped his mind until this moment. As if on cue, Howard’s distorted voice rang out in his head: “I tried to warn you, Alex. You cannot stop what we have planned.”
With his new perspective and in his discouraged state of mind, Alex couldn’t find an empowering rebuttal. Not even Joe Riggs could bring down their system by himself, and he wasn’t Joe Riggs. He was plain old Alex Watson, a middle-aged nobody living in his mother’s basement. But nearly as soon as that self-defeating thought entered his mind, another thought replaced it. He spoke it into the basement air, as if Howard were sitting directly across from him: “You’re right, Howard, I can’t stop what you have planned…but the truth can.”
That one encouraging thought led Alex immediately to a handful of others, which he scribbled down in his journal as fast as he could:
First of all, I’m not fighting this enemy all by myself. William Engdahl; he’s fighting, he’s an ally. The websites I came across when I was doing research; they’re fighting, they’re allies. By Howard’s own admission, there are thousands of authors out there fighting; they are allies. Every single human being who refuses to be ruled by a morally inferior class of sociopaths, they are allies. Anyone who was once conned into supporting these liars (or is still being conned) is a potential ally.
I’m not going to pretend that any of this will be easy. If it was easy to stop them, they would have never gotten this far…they would have been stopped a long time ago. BUT, what they’re trying to do isn’t easy either…if it was, they would have already done it. The fact that they’ve failed to get what they want, even when 95% of the population knows nothing about ‘the illusion’ or what they’re up to, proves to me that we have the advantage. Our job is to undermine the lies that prop up their so-called illusion. If we do that effectively, they will lose the only thing that empowers them…without it; they’re just a handful of pathetic little men.
And with that journal entry, Alex won his first of many mental battles. He saw that he didn’t have to fight the dominant class directly to beat them. Instead, by speaking and proving the truth, he could steadily and irreversibly weaken the illusion that they depended on. (Nobody who saw the real world with their own eyes, nobody who learned the trick, would ever trust their centralized / coercive power again.)
Each mind, like a torch, can light a thousand more…then, like wildfire, the truth will spread and burn their system down. We just have to keep lighting those fires, each of us, in whatever way we can.
Alex felt a great deal of enthusiasm. He knew exactly how he could light some fires and, ironically, the idea came from Howard. (He’d write a short book about the ‘law of power’ and the maxim that ‘deception provides what the truth denies.’) What he wouldn’t do is write as an apologist for the dominant class. In fact, he looked forward to undermining the poorly-reasoned and hypocritical rationalizations that they used to justify their crimes.
Although he had plenty of material to begin writing immediately, Alex decided to spend a couple more weeks looking into and verifying other topics that he had come across. …A couple weeks turned into a couple months. A couple months turned into a couple years.
When Alex began, he could have never predicted the pervasive rot within Howard’s ‘real world.’ Each giant lie that he unearthed only seemed to expose a thousand more lies beneath it. Every time he tried to wrap up his research and begin writing, he discovered another handful of topics that needed a closer look. Once again, the note hanging from his computer began to taunt him. Though it reminded him every day to ‘Write the book,’ deadline after deadline came and went without a single page.
Originally, Alex had promised his mother a copy of his book by Christmas of 2009. …She finally stopped asking about it after Christmas of 2010. That’s also about the time she began sneaking down into the basement each morning to check on Alex. (He wasn’t shaving or bathing as often as he used to. He’d lost a lot of weight and had begun ranting about ‘crazy conspiracy theories.’) Because she feared he might be losing his mind, she also took it upon herself to invite a new person over to play cards with the girls. (A 50-something bearded man that, supposedly, they had met at the donut shop.) He liked to ask Alex a lot of questions and it was blatantly obvious that the man was a shrink. Alex just played along. He had far more upsetting things to confront than his mother’s good intentions.
After a couple years, Alex’s friends finally stopped trying to contact him and drag him out of the house. Many of them took his snubs personally and that upset him…he never wanted to hurt their feelings. He only hoped, when he finished his book, that they would finally understand. Until then, he convinced himself that he was doing them all a favor by not joining them. (Alex wasn’t drinking anymore and nothing he’d want to talk about would add much ‘fun’ to their ‘fun night out.’)
After reading more than 100 books (totaling more than 35,000 pages), an additional 20,000 – 30,000 pages of online research; after countless hours of video, countless hours of audio, and thousands of hours trying to process and organize it all, Alex made himself stop. He could work for 100 years and he’d never uncover it all. He could write a book 100 feet thick and it would still come up short.
On November 1st, 2011, Alex began going over and organizing his hundreds of pages of notes for the last time. On November 10th, 2011 he took the sign off his computer; it was no longer necessary…he was writing the book.
To Be Continued…
